The Wyld Stallyns are the greatest band of all-time, not just because of its musical impact, but its societal impact as well, bolstering relations between nations and faciliting contact with extraterrestrial life (including Martians).

History Edit

Wyld Stallyns began as the project of two music-loving slackers from San Dimas, California known as Bill & Ted. Although initially having very little technical know-how in guitar playing, the two would never-the-less spend their free time filming their own promotional videos, wailing away on their guitars, and hoping to one day recruit Eddie Van Halen to the band.

The First Crucial Point In Their DestinyEdit

Spending all of their free time with the band eventually lead to its troubles; as the pair approached the end of their high school years they found themselves failing history, which would result in them flunking out of high school. The only way for them to not fail the class is to deliver nothing short of an A+ worthy report on how "a historical figure may view the world of San Dimas today." Ted's dad, Police Captain Logan, threatens Ted with an enrollment into an Alaskan Military School, ending Ted's friendship with Bill as well as Wyld Stallyns if they should fail. The pair are determined to not let that happen.

Outside the Circle K, a local convenience store, Bill & Ted ask passers by questions in an attempt to compile a decent report, when suddenly a Phone Booth falls from the sky with Rufus inside. Rufus tells the pair that he's here to help them with their report. With the help of their own future selves, they eventually agree to allow Rufus to help them. Atfer a quick show of how the Booth works, and the accidental kidnapping of Napoleon Bonaparte, Rufus leaves the two with the Booth. The two quickly hatch a plan to kidnap other important figures from the past to have them speak for their report. And so, the two embark on an excellent adventure through time, where they recruit the help of Billy the Kid and Socrates.

Along the way, Bill & Ted land in 15th century England and fall for two beautiful Princesses; Joanna and Elizabeth. After being caught by their father, however, the pair are sentenced to death. Luckily, they manage to escape with the help of Billy the Kid and Socrates and barely escape in the Booth. The group now lands in the future, where Bill & Ted meet The Three Supreme Beings of the Future. Confused, Bill & Ted mimic an air guitar move shown to them by the future council, not realizing that the move is most commonly associated with them. The duo are then surrounded by the inhabitants of this futuristic world who are in awe of the pair, and repeat the air-guitar action en masse, leaving Bill & Ted astounded. Bill & Ted then leave them with their own wisdom:

"Be excellent to each other!"
— Bill.
"Party on, dudes!"
— Ted.

Continuing their adventure, they then manage to find and kidnap Sigmund Freud, Ludwig van Beethoven, Genghis Khan, Joan of Arc, and Abraham Lincoln to speak at their report. After a few detours, with Ted's younger brother Deacon losing Napoleon, and the rest of the historical figures being arrested after running amok at the local mall, Bill & Ted manage to put on a most triumphant history report, earning them an A+.

After earning their A+, Bill & Ted continue to pursue Wyld Stallyns, but are distraught. Although they had a most excellent adventure through time nothing has really changed for them. As they sit and conclude they should learn to actually play their guitars, they are visited once again by Rufus who had rescued the princesses, Joanna and Elizabeth, from their cruel father. Rufus, happy that he was able to help them, hands them a copy of one of their own records and asks them if they could sign it for his kids. Bill & Ted are astounded by this record, simply titled Wyld Stallyns and with a futuristic moving cover, and Rufus explains to them that in the future Wyld Stallyns music has inspired universal harmony.

The truth proved more complicated, since Wild Stallyns enjoyed great initial success, but eventually began a decades-long downward spiral and never created a song that could unite the world. When the universe was about to fall apart because of their failure to create the ultimate song, Billie and Thea traveled through time to form a new version of Wyld Stallyns made up of legendary musicians Louis Armstrong, Jimi Hendrix, Wolfgang Mozart, Lun Ling and a prehistoric caveman as the greatest drummer of all time. With their daughters organizing the musicians, Bill and Ted joined in with their old bandmate Death to play the ultimate song, reinforced by every human in history playing along.


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